Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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