hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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