i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
