Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
