Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
either way he was missing a nipple.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
