Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
