Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
