We won't sleep together?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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