They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
