ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
