I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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