he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
