Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you had me at cake vodka
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
