I want to make a zoo with you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
