So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
