So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize