you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
