Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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