Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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