So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
