I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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