i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
