what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
