First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
