come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
