this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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