found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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