FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
