She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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