I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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