carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
