She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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