They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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