Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
