Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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