Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
