Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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