Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
