I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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