How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
