thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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