You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
