So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
