Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
