I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
