oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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