Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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