Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
