We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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