I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have fence marks all over my body
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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