Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
