if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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