They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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