i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
