wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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