i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
