I feel great
I just peed on a car
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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