he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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